என் பொண்டாட்டி ஓடிப் போய்ட்டா

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’என் பொண்டாட்டி ஓடிப் போய்ட்டா – அப்படித்தான் தோன்றியது அவனுக்கு. சாதாரணமாய், காதலர்கள் மாதிரியா பழகினோம்? கணவன் மனைவி போலல்லவா இருந்தோம். புருசா என்றும் பொண்டாட்டி என்றுமல்லவா அழைத்துக்கொண்டோம். மொபைலில் கூட பெயருக்கு பதில் அப்படித்தானே பதிந்து வைத்திருந்தோம். நீதாண்டா என் உயிர், நீ இல்லாம என் வாழ்க்கைய நெனச்சுக்கூட பாக்க முடியலடா, என்றெல்லாம் சொன்னாளே! இப்போது உயிராவது, மயிராவது என்றல்லவா போய்விட்டாள்’.

’எத்தனை முறை என்னுடன் படுத்திருப்பாள்? உன் நெஞ்சு என் மஞ்சம் என்றும், உன் மடி என் சொர்க்கம் என்றெல்லாம் கொஞ்சினோமே! கொஞ்சம் கூட வெக்கம், மானம் இல்லையா இந்தப் பெண்களுக்கு?’, அவள் மேல் உள்ள கோபம், மொத்தப் பெண்ணினத்தின் மீதே பாய்ந்தது.

’அப்பனுக்கு ஹார்ட் அட்டாக், அம்மா தற்கொலை பண்ணிக்கப் போறாங்க… இப்போ பல காரணங்கள் சொல்கிறாளே! எல்லாம் பொய்யாயிருக்கும். மொதல்லயே திட்டம் போட்டுத்தான் பண்ணியிருப்பா. என்னுடையது எல்லாவற்றையும் அனுபவித்தாளே, உடல் உள்ளம் உட்பட! வீட்டிற்குக் கூட பணம் அனுப்பாமல் எல்லாவற்றையும் இவளுக்காகவே செலவு செய்தோமே, சண்டாளி!’

‘இருக்கட்டும், நீ மட்டும்தான் இன்னொருவனுடன் படுப்பாயா? நானும் இன்னொருத்தியுடன் உல்லாசமாய் இருப்பேன். அதே நாள், அதே இரவு’, கோபம், ஏமாற்றம், குரோதம் என எல்லா சாத்தான்களும் அவன் மனதில் பிளாட் போட்டு தங்கிவிட்டன.

எல்லாம் ஏற்பாடு செய்தாயிற்று. ரூமுக்கு தனி, பிகருக்கு தனி, மாமாவுக்கு கன்சல்ட்டிங் பீஸ் தனி, வழிகாட்டியவனுக்கு குவாட்டர் செலவு வேறு. உள்ளே வந்தாள் அவள், அவனுக்கோ அதுவே குறி, ‘இன்றோடு இவளை மறந்துவிட வேண்டும்’… மனதுக்குள்… காமமும் புகுந்தது. ஆரம்பித்தான்… அவளது முகமே மனதில், அவளுடனான கலவையின் உணர்ச்சித் ததும்பல்களே உடலில்… அதற்கு மேல் முடியவில்லை.

‘நமக்கே கஷ்டமாய் இருக்கே, அவ எப்படி அடுத்தவன் கூட…’, இப்போது அவன் மனது வெற்றாய் இருந்தது, அழுகையைத் தவிர ஏதுமில்லை அவனிடம்.

உயிரோடை சிறுகதைப் போட்டிக்காக எழுதப்பட்டது

லக்கிலுக்குக்கு நன்றி

Thank you for reading. 🙂

201 comments

  1. Suresh

    யோவ் உன்னை அப்படியே கட்டி புட்டிச்சு பாராட்டனும் போல இருக்கு இது கதையா கண்டிப்பா உனக்கு பரிசு கிடைக்கும்

  2. Suresh

    /இதோட மதிப்பு இவ்ளோதான்…/

    இதை மாத்துங்க இந்த பதிவுக்கும் சரி உங்க பதிவுக்கும் சரி இந்த வோட்டு மதிப்பு ஆகாது நண்பா

  3. Suresh

    /நமக்கே கஷ்டமாய் இருக்கே, அவ எப்படி அடுத்தவன் கூட…’, இப்போது அவன் மனது வெற்றாய் இருந்தது, அழுகையைத் தவிர ஏதுமில்லை அவனிடம்./

    தடுமாறிய குரங்கு மனது மனிதன் மனது ஆனா அந்த நேரத்திலும் இவன் அவளை நினைத்து எழுந்தது அவனது காதல்…அழகு

  4. Beski

    //யோவ் உன்னை அப்படியே கட்டி புட்டிச்சு பாராட்டனும் போல இருக்கு//
    வாங்க சென்னைக்கு.

    //இது கதையா கண்டிப்பா உனக்கு பரிசு கிடைக்கும்//
    நன்றி.

  5. Beski

    //இதை மாத்துங்க//
    கண்டிப்பா மாத்தனுமா? இது எல்லா பதிவுலயும் வற்ர மாதிரி செட் பண்ணிருக்கேன்…

  6. Beski

    //தடுமாறிய குரங்கு மனது மனிதன் மனது//
    மிகச் சரி.

    //சின்னதாய் அழகாய் இருக்கூ நண்பா//
    நன்றி மச்சான்.

  7. Beski

    Congrats!
    Your story titled 'ஏதோ டாட் காம்: என் பொண்டாட்டி ஓடிப் போய்ட்டா' made popular by tamilish users at tamilish.com and the story promoted to the home page on 1st July 2009 10:00:01 AM GMT

    Here is the link to the story: http://www.tamilish.com/story/79127

    Thank you for using Tamilish.com

    Regards,
    -Tamilish Team

    இதற்குக் காரணமான அனைவருக்கும் என் நன்றிகள்.

  8. Unknown

    இப்படி கதை எழுத ரூம் போட்டு யோசிச்சயா-? மச்சான். கதையில ஒரு சின்ன சந்தேகம் என்னன்னா….அந்த பொண்டாட்டி
    சூப்பர் பிகரா இல்ல சப்பை பிகரான்னு சொல்லவே இல்லையே மச்சான்!!!.

  9. Beski

    //இப்படி கதை எழுத ரூம் போட்டு யோசிச்சயா-? மச்சான்//
    ஹி ஹி ஹி…

    //சூப்பர் பிகரா இல்ல சப்பை பிகரான்னு சொல்லவே இல்லையே மச்சான்!!!//
    சூப்பர் பிகருதான், நம்மாளு இவ்ளோ பீல் பண்ணூம்போதே தெர்ல?
    (அப்போ சப்ப பிகர்னா பீலிங்ஸ் இருக்காதான்னு காதல் கிறுக்கர்கள் கேட்கக் கூடாது…)

    நன்றி மச்சான்.

    அப்புறம், உங்க புரொபைல பாக்க முடியலியே!? பின், தங்களைப் பற்றி எப்படித் தெரிந்துகொள்வது?

  10. Unknown

    நண்பரே என் வலையிலிருந்து இங்கு வந்தேன்.
    கதைப் படித்தேன்.நல்லா இருக்கு.

    ”அயிட்டம்” வீட்டுக்கு போவதை
    வித்தியாசமான கோணங்களில் நம் இருவரும் சொல்லி உள்ளோம்.

    கணவன் திட்டும் மொழியை tone down செய்திருக்கலாமோ? என்று என் எண்ணம்.

    வாழ்த்துக்கள்!

  11. Beski

    //கதைப் படித்தேன்.நல்லா இருக்கு.//
    நன்றி.

    //”அயிட்டம்” வீட்டுக்கு போவதை
    வித்தியாசமான கோணங்களில் நம் இருவரும் சொல்லி உள்ளோம்.//
    ஹி ஹி ஹி… அதான போட்டியே…

    //கணவன் திட்டும் மொழியை tone down செய்திருக்கலாமோ? என்று என் எண்ணம்.//
    அந்த சூழ்நிலையில் அவன் மனது என்ன நினைத்திருக்குமோ அதை அப்படியே தந்துள்ளேன், சில கெட்ட வார்த்தைகளை நீக்கியுள்ளேன், இதற்கு மேல் திருத்த எனக்கு விருப்பம் இல்லை.

    ஏ ஜோக்குகளை விட ஒது இன்றும் தரம் குறைந்தது இல்லை என்பதே என் எண்ணம்.

    /வாழ்த்துக்கள்!//
    நன்றி மச்சான்.

  12. Unknown

    பிரெண்ட்,

    //அந்த சூழ்நிலையில் அவன் மனது என்ன நினைத்திருக்குமோ அதை அப்படியே தந்துள்ளேன், சில கெட்ட வார்த்தைகளை நீக்கியுள்ளேன், இதற்கு மேல் திருத்த எனக்கு விருப்பம் இல்லை.//

    நான் சொல்ல வந்தது கதையின் சீரியஸ்னெஸ் போய் ”ஜீவன்” போய்விடும்.இவன் கார்பரேஷன் குழாயடி தண்ணிபுடி சண்டை போடுவது மாதிரி ஒரு பீலிங் வருது.சீரியஸ்னெஸ் போய்விடுகிறது.”விவேக்” காமெடித்தனம் மனதில் படுகிற்து.

    அதிஷா கதைகளில் இது நடக்கும்.அவரிடமே சொன்னதுண்டு.என் பின்னூட்டத்திலும் பார்த்திருக்கலாம்.

    இதை பாசிடீவ்வாக எடுத்துக்கொள்ளுங்கள்.
    இதெல்லாம் டெக்னிக்ஸ்.

    நன்றி.

  13. Beski

    //”விவேக்” காமெடித்தனம் மனதில் படுகிற்து//
    ஓஹோ… இருக்கலாம், நமக்கு கொஞ்சம் நக்கல் ஜாஸ்தி.

    //இதை பாசிடீவ்வாக எடுத்துக்கொள்ளுங்கள்.//
    அட நீங்க வேற, இப்ப என்ன நெகட்டிவாவா எடுத்துக்கிட்டேன்.

    //இதெல்லாம் டெக்னிக்ஸ்.//
    உங்களை நேர்ல பாத்தா இன்னும் நெறயா கத்துக்கல்லாம் போல இருக்கே… நெறயா கத படிப்பீங்காளா? எழுதுவீங்களா? உங்களைப் பற்றி எனக்கு சரியாகத் தெரியாது.

    ரொம்ப ரொம்ப நன்றி, அடுத்த முறை கதையை வெளியிடுவதற்கு முன் தாங்கள் கருத்துக்காக அனுப்பி வைக்கவா/லாமா?

  14. Unknown

    //உங்களை நேர்ல பாத்தா இன்னும் நெறயா கத்துக்கல்லாம் போல இருக்கே… நெறயா கத படிப்பீங்காளா? எழுதுவீங்களா? உங்களைப் பற்றி எனக்கு சரியாகத் தெரியாது.//

    படிக்க என் வலைப் பக்கங்களை.கதை/கட்டுரை/கவிதை/பொது என்று………..

    // ரொம்ப ரொம்ப நன்றி, அடுத்த முறை கதையை வெளியிடுவதற்கு முன் தாங்கள் கருத்துக்காக அனுப்பி வைக்கவா/லாமா?//

    தயவு செய்து வேண்டாம்.நிறைய படியுங்கள்.பிறகு எழுதுங்கள்.

    படிக்க:சிறுகதையைப் பற்றி

    http://raviaditya.blogspot.com/2008/12/blog-post_06.html

  15. Beski

    நன்றி ரவிஷங்கர்.

    //
    தயவு செய்து வேண்டாம்.நிறைய படியுங்கள்.பிறகு எழுதுங்கள்.//
    ஓக்கே ஓக்கே…

    //http://raviaditya.blogspot.com/2008/12/blog-post_06.html//
    ரொம்ப நல்லாருக்கு.

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